Tag Archive for: co parenting

Navigating the Holiday Season During Divorce: A Co-Parenting Guide

When we think of the holidays, we think of happiness and being surrounded by our loved ones. However, it can present a unique set of challenges for divorced – or divorcing – parents.

Whether this is your first holiday season post-divorce, amid a divorce, or you’re a seasoned co-parent, effective preparation and clear communication are crucial for a fulfilling holiday experience for your children.

Given that a divorce occurs approximately every 36 seconds somewhere in the United States, the importance of finding peaceful ways to co-parent cannot be more important. In this blog, we aim to provide practical tips and insights to help provide a peaceful holiday for you and your children. Here’s what you need to know.

Understanding Parental Responsibilities

It’s important to know that “custody” is no longer used. It is now called “parental responsibilities.” This includes two main things: parenting time (formerly “visitation”) and the power to make decisions for children. Parenting time is a schedule that shows when each parent spends time with the children. This schedule is created and approved by a judge in family court. If the parents can’t agree on the schedule, the judge will decide what’s best for the child and assign a schedule for the parents.

Parental responsibilities refer to the decision-making responsibilities that each parent will have on behalf of the child. Parents can agree to make these decisions together or divide them into categories, which should cover the following:

  • Education
  • Health
  • Religion
  • Extracurricular Activities

If the parents can’t agree on who gets what responsibility, the Illinois family court judge will allocate those responsibilities among them. Let’s dive into some tips that will help you make co-parenting easier this holiday season.

1. Review and Update Your Co-Parenting Plan

During the emotional and often stressful period of divorce, having a clear co-parenting plan can provide stability and predictability for both you and your children. This plan should outline how you and your ex-spouse will share responsibilities and make decisions regarding your children. If you’re unsure about how to create or modify your co-parenting plan, seeking the assistance of a family law attorney can be incredibly valuable.

A family law attorney can offer guidance and legal advice to help you develop a plan that provides clarity and structure throughout the holiday season. With a clear plan, you can aim for holiday celebrations filled with warmth, understanding, and the season’s magic.

2. Prioritize Communication and Planning

Children flourish when they have stability. To create a harmonious holiday season, it’s vital to present a united front and communicate holiday plans clearly and calmly. Share your holiday plans, including travel details, accommodations, and emergency contacts. Stay updated on any changes or delays affecting the agreed schedule. Keeping the lines of communication open promotes transparency. By communicating effectively, co-parents can build trust between one another. This partnership can help reassure children that the holidays can still be joyful and celebratory despite changes in the family dynamic.

3. Be Flexible and Willing to Compromise

The holiday season is often unpredictable, and flexibility can be your greatest asset. While it’s important to stick to your parenting plan as much as possible, be prepared to make minor adjustments as needed. This could mean being flexible with pick-up and drop-off times or accommodating last-minute changes. The goal is to prioritize your children’s happiness and well-being, even if it means making concessions.

4. Establish and Maintain Traditions

Maintaining holiday traditions can provide a sense of continuity and comfort for children post-divorce. Work with your ex-spouse to determine which traditions to maintain and explore opportunities to establish new ones. Involving your children in this decision-making process can enhance their sense of inclusion and security. Here are some creative approaches to traditional celebrations:

  • Go out to eat instead of cooking.
  • Have a holiday picnic in a new part of the house.
  • Eat dinner while watching holiday movies.
  • Buy new holiday decorations.
  • Spend time with extended family.
  • Change your gift-giving routine.

5. Prioritize Your Children’s Needs

Parents, caregivers, and educators play a crucial role in helping children cope emotionally during and after a divorce. Studies show that children often encounter significant difficulties in these times, especially in the first year or two after the divorce. It’s essential to understand that each child is different, and what’s a big deal for one child might not be as important to another.

Pay attention to their feelings and needs, and be supportive if they struggle with the changes. Involve your child in the decision-making process where appropriate, giving them a sense of ownership and excitement about the holidays. Remember, the goal is to create lasting memories and positive experiences for your child. Lastly, try to keep negative feelings about your ex-spouse to yourself and maintain a positive attitude when discussing holiday plans.

How Masters Law Group Can Help

The holidays can be emotionally taxing, especially after a recent divorce or separation, which can intensify these emotions. It’s important to prioritize self-care to be the best parent you can be. Your family’s well-being is paramount, so don’t let the emotional strain of a custody case weigh you down.

At Masters Law Group, our family law attorneys focus on helping clients assert their rights to further the best interests of their children. Attorney Erin E. Masters is a court-appointed Child Representative with experience advocating for children in these high-conflict matters. Attorney Anthony G. Joseph is an approved Guardian Ad Litem/Child Representatives list for the Domestic Relations Division of the Circuit Court of Cook County.

With a strong focus on assisting clients in Chicago and Chicago’s Western Suburbs (Elmhurst, Hinsdale, DuPage, Oakbrook), we offer various services to help parents, children, and families through difficult times like Divorce, Parenting Time, and Allocation of Parental Responsibilities.

If you require legal assistance, contact a member of our legal team today. Our attorneys will work with you to develop an appropriate action plan for your unique needs and goals. We will work diligently on your behalf and provide regular updates.

Contact us today to set up a complimentary consultation.

The Impact of Divorce on Children: Supporting Their Emotional Well-being

Divorce is an unfortunate reality many families face, and its impact can be profound, especially on the children involved. While divorce can bring about significant changes and challenges for everyone involved, it is crucial to prioritize the well-being of children during this time. 

By understanding the effects of divorce on children and providing them with the necessary support, we can help them navigate this transition and promote their emotional resilience. In this blog, we will explore how to prepare for divorce and support your children. Here’s what you should know.

Understanding the Effects of Divorce on Children

Divorce can have various emotional effects on children, depending on their age, temperament, and the circumstances surrounding the separation. It is essential to be aware of these potential effects and address them proactively. Common emotional reactions exhibited by children include:

  • Feelings of sadness and loss: Children may experience a sense of grief and mourn the loss of the intact family they once knew. They may feel deep sadness and worry about the changes in their lives.
  • Anger and resentment: Children may express their frustration and anger over the divorce, often directed towards one or both parents. They may feel caught in conflicts and blame themselves for the situation.
  • Anxiety and insecurity: The stability and routine they once relied upon may be disrupted, leading to feelings of uncertainty and anxiety about their future. They may worry about their living arrangements, school changes, and how their relationships with their parents will be affected.
  • Academic and behavioral challenges: Divorce can impact a child’s educational performance and behavior. They may have difficulty concentrating, exhibit aggression, withdrawal, or act out to cope with their emotions.

Understanding the effects of divorce on children is crucial to provide them with the necessary support during this challenging time. Let’s look at how to prepare for divorce while supporting your children.

Preparing for Divorce and Supporting Your Children

Parents, caregivers, and educators support children’s emotional well-being during and after a divorce. Studies indicate that children often face significant challenges, particularly within the first year or two following the divorce. It is important to remember that each child is unique, and what may be substantial for one child may not hold the same weight for others. To navigate this, staying aware of your children as individuals is vital.

Encouraging open conversations with your child is essential. Provide age-appropriate information about the divorce and reassure them that the separation is not their fault while emphasizing that both parents love them. When they express their feelings, listen intently without interruption, allowing them to share their emotions freely.

Consistency and predictability provide stability amidst the changes. Establishing regular schedules for meals, bedtime, and other activities can help children feel secure amid the transition. This goes hand in hand with creating a safe and nurturing environment. This allows children to express their emotions without judgment further. Be a listening ear, validate their feelings, and offer reassurance during challenging moments.

Striving for amicable communication and cooperation with your ex-spouse is crucial. Shield children from conflicts and avoid involving them in adult issues. Establishing a consistent co-parenting plan that prioritizes the children’s well-being will contribute to their stability. If your child struggles with emotional difficulties during the divorce, consider seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling. A trained therapist can guide and support children in processing their emotions effectively. Remember, seeking assistance is a proactive step toward their well-being.

Explore Divorce Mediation

Divorce Mediation is one of the best options to help your children through this life change and to encourage a harmonious relationship between you and the other parent.

Mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) that involves a neutral third party who facilitates communication between the parties to help them reach a mutually beneficial solution. Unlike a judge, the mediator does not make decisions for the parties; instead, they help the parties reach their agreement.

Mediation typically begins with both parties meeting with their mediator to discuss the issues at hand. The mediator then facilitates communication between the parties, helping them to identify and address their concerns. Once an agreement is reached, the mediator will draft a written contract that both parties can sign.

In some cases, mediation may not be successful. However, even in these situations, the parties may better understand each other’s positions and concerns, making future negotiations more straightforward, ultimately helping to minimize the impact on children’s wellbeing.

Working With Family Law Professionals

When going through a divorce, it is often beneficial to seek assistance from family law professionals who excel in navigating the legal aspects of separation, divorce and divorce mediation. The experienced family law attorneys at Masters Law Group can advise on the legal aspects of your divorce. We can help you understand your rights, obligations, and options for resolving any disputes, while providing valuable guidance and support. Our main goal is to ensure that your rights and the best interests of your children are protected. Here are some of the areas that can help you navigate:

  • Parenting Time: If you have children, work closely with your attorney to determine the best arrangements for child custody and visitation. Ensure that the agreed-upon arrangements prioritize your children’s well-being and best interests.
  • Mediation and alternative dispute resolution: Explore options such as mediation or collaborative divorce to help you and your ex-spouse reach mutually beneficial agreements outside of court. Your family law attorney can guide you through these processes and represent your interests during negotiations.
  • Post-divorce modifications: After the divorce is finalized, there may be circumstances that require modifications to child custody, visitation, or support arrangements. Stay in touch with your attorney to address any changes or issues that may arise in the future.

Remember, family law professionals are there to support you and protect your legal rights during this challenging time. Collaborating with a trusted attorney can help alleviate the stress associated with the divorce process and ensure a smoother transition for you and your children.

Final Thoughts

By prioritizing open communication and creating a safe and supportive environment, we can help children thrive despite their challenges. It is crucial to recognize and adapt our support to meet the unique needs of each child. At Masters Law Group, we understand the complexities of divorce and its effects on families.

With a strong emphasis on serving clients in Chicago’s Western Suburbs, including Elmhurst, Hinsdale, DuPage, and Oakbrook, we offer a range of services designed to assist parents, children, and families during difficult times such as divorce, parenting time, and the allocation of parental responsibilities.

Our dedicated team of attorneys is here to help if you need legal assistance. We will work closely with you to develop a personalized action plan addressing your needs and goals. Throughout the process, we will keep you informed with regular updates on your case.

Contact us today to schedule a complimentary consultation and learn how we can support you and your family during this challenging time.

Summer Vacation and Child Custody: Tips for Parenting Time

Co-parenting during the summer months can present unique challenges. With the right strategies in place, you can help make it stress-free for you and your child.

This blog will delve into valuable tips to help co-parents navigate summer vacations while maintaining a harmonious co-parenting relationship. By implementing these parenting tips, you can help ensure your child’s summer break is filled with fun, love, and quality time spent with both parents.

Read on to discover effective co-parenting techniques that will make your summer vacation successful.

What is Parenting Time?

The term “custody” is no longer used in the law. It is now called “parental responsibilities.” This includes parenting time (formerly “visitation”) and decision-making power.  Parenting time refers to the time each parent spends with their child.

Parenting time is literally just a schedule of each parent’s time with the children.  This schedule is agreed to and approved by the family court judge.  If the parents can’t agree on the schedule, the family court judge will assign the parents a schedule based on the “best interests” of the child.

Parental responsibilities refer to the decision-making responsibilities that each parent will have on behalf of the child. The parties may agree to share decision-making for the child or they may divide up the individual categories of decision-making responsibilities.

Those categories of decision-making responsibility must include:

  • Education
  • Health
  • Religion
  • Extracurricular Activities

If the parents can’t agree on who gets what responsibility, the Illinois family court judge will allocate those responsibilities amongst them. (See more below on Allocation of Parental Responsibilities).

Does Illinois Grant Equal Custody?

Approximately 40% of states in the United States strive to provide equal custody time for both parents. Courts consider the child’s best interests when determining parenting time and custody arrangements. They aim to ensure that the child maintains a strong and healthy relationship with both parents. They consider factors such as the child’s age, needs, and the ability of each parent to provide a safe environment.

Illinois courts grant parenting time and responsibilities based on the child’s best interest. This means the court only favors a mother over a father if the father negatively impacts the child.

Clear guidelines and agreements regarding parenting time and custody can help establish stability and promote effective co-parenting. Let’s take a deeper look at some helpful co-parenting methods.

Plan In Advance

Effective co-parenting requires proactive planning for summer vacation. Start by discussing your vacation plans with the other parent well in advance. This allows both of you to evaluate and discuss the feasibility of the proposed dates and destinations. Consider factors such as your child’s preferences, special events or activities they may want to participate in, and overall availability. Considering these commitments helps you avoid scheduling conflicts and ensures your child doesn’t miss out on critical activities.

Engaging in open and constructive communication with the other parent is crucial during the planning stage. Discussing your expectations and desires for the vacation allows you to find common ground and work towards a mutually agreeable arrangement. It’s essential to listen to each other’s concerns and be willing to compromise where necessary. Remember, the focus should always be on providing your child with a positive and enriching vacation experience.

By initiating discussions early, considering your child’s preferences, school schedules, and commitments, and maintaining open communication with the other parent, you can avoid conflicts and work together to create a memorable and enjoyable summer vacation for your child.

Communicate Openly

Clear and open communication is vital to successful co-parenting. Communication becomes even more critical during the summer break. Keep each other informed about your vacation plans, including travel itineraries, accommodation details, and emergency contacts. Regularly update the other parent about any changes or delays impacting the agreed-upon schedule. Maintaining open lines of communication ensures transparency and builds trust between co-parents.

Be Flexible And Compromise

Flexibility is crucial when co-parenting during summer vacation. Understand that unexpected events or last-minute opportunities may arise, requiring adjustments to the agreed-upon plans. Be willing to accommodate reasonable requests from the other parent, and consider your child’s best interests when making decisions. Maintaining a cooperative and flexible attitude helps create a positive co-parenting dynamic and allows for enjoyable vacations for everyone involved.

Create A Detailed Vacation Plan

To avoid confusion and minimize potential conflicts, create a detailed vacation plan that outlines the agreed-upon arrangements. Include travel dates, pick-up and drop-off locations, transportation arrangements, and contact details for both parents. This plan can serve as a reference point for both parents and helps ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Consider The Child’s Needs

While making vacation plans, always prioritize the well-being and happiness of your child. Consider their preferences, interests, and special considerations such as allergies or medical requirements. Involve your child in the decision-making process where appropriate, giving them a sense of ownership and excitement about the vacation. Remember, the goal is to create lasting memories and positive experiences for your child.

Respect Boundaries

When co-parenting during summer vacation, respecting each other’s boundaries is crucial. Avoid involving your child in conflicts or negative discussions about the other parent. Remember custody and visitation agreements. Demonstrating respect sets a positive example for your child and fosters a harmonious co-parenting relationship. Plan for regular communication between your child and the non-custodial parent. Consider phone calls, video chats, or updates based on your child’s age and preferences. By planning, considering the child’s needs, and respecting boundaries, co-parents can ensure a smooth and enjoyable vacation for their children.

Allocation of Parental Responsibilities

If you have followed the tips above and are having trouble reaching a civil agreement regarding parenting time, the Allocation of Parental Responsibilities can help. In Illinois, there are three primary types of child allocation of parental responsibilities: joint allocation, sole allocation, and shared allocation.

Joint allocation of parental responsibilities requires parents to collaborate on decision-making regarding their child’s education, healthcare, religious instruction, and other essential matters. The parents will agree, or the court will assign a residential parent. The non-residential parent will provide child support and have designated parenting time, as determined by a parenting time agreement or court order.

Sole allocation of parental responsibilities refers to an arrangement where one parent assumes full responsibility for making decisions concerning the child’s well-being. However, it doesn’t imply that the other parent is wholly excluded from the child’s life.

Shared allocation of parental responsibilities is a variation of joint allocation. It is suitable when the child spends equal time with both parents. The parents live in the same school district and can co-parent effectively. Working with an established family law attorney can ultimately help you reach an agreement.

How Masters Law Group Can Help

Masters Law Group focuses on helping clients assert their rights to further the best interests of their children. Attorney Erin E. Masters is a court-appointed Child Representative with experience advocating for children in these high-conflict matters. Attorney Anthony G. Joseph is an approved Guardian Ad Litem/Child Representatives list for the Domestic Relations Division of the Circuit Court of Cook County.

With a strong focus in assisting clients in Chicago’s Western Suburbs (Elmhurst, Hinsdale, DuPage, Oakbrook) we offer various services to help parents, children, and families through difficult times like Divorce, Parenting Time, and Allocation of Parental Responsibilities.

If you require legal assistance, contact a member of our legal team today. Our attorneys will work with you to develop an appropriate action plan for your unique needs and goals. We will work diligently on your behalf and provide regular updates. Contact us today to set up a complimentary consultation.

Co-Parenting and The Impact on Child Support

As family dynamics diversify, co-parenting is becoming increasingly popular. But this child-centered approach to parental separation has its own set of opportunities (such as consistency) and challenges (such as who is responsible for child support). Here’s what you should know. 

Co-parenting is a form of parenting relationship in which the two parents are not involved romantically with each other, but assume the joint responsibility of the child. It can be described as any two people jointly raising a minor, irrespective of whether or not they are biological parents. But, in the majority of cases, co-parenting comes after a divorce, separation or a breakup involving a child.

After divorcing (or legally separating), working with your child’s other parent may be uncomfortable to say the least. But making the effort to cooperate with your co-parent  makes things easier for everyone involved. Especially the child/children.

Navigating co-parenting is no easy feat and it can raise questions about the financial obligations of each parent. Let’s dive into the complex world of co-parenting and child support to learn more.

Co-Parenting in Illinois

In Illinois, co-parenting is commonly referred to as joint parenting. Joint parenting refers to an arrangement in which both parents share parental responsibilities and decision-making for the child. The purpose of joint parenting is to ensure that both parents remain involved in the child’s life and that the child’s best interests are always prioritized.

In order to establish joint parenting in Illinois, both parents must submit a parenting plan to the court. The parenting plan should include details about how parental responsibilities will be divided. It should also include decision-making authority, parenting time, and child support.

Child Support Orders

A child support order is determined by what is reasonable and necessary for the support of the child or children. It is presumed that the guideline support amounts represent the amount of support that is reasonable and necessary, unless it can be demonstrated to the court that circumstances exist that would make the guideline amount inappropriate.

Child support is utilized for the child or children’s expenses and looking at the best interests of the child or children to provide a stable home for the child or children. Some common expenses that are associated with child support are:

  • The child’s residence expenses such as mortgage or rent.
  • Utilities such as electricity, gas, and water.
  • The child’s educational expenses such as notebooks, pens, paper, books, sports fees, band fees, etc.
  • The child’s food expenses.
  • The child’s medical expenses. (Illinois Child Support Laws that went into effect on January 1st, 2022 requires that during child support proceedings parents must obtain or maintain health insurance coverage for their child or children.)

If you are concerned about how the court will calculate the child support amount and/or if you are concerned whether your child or children will receive the financial support they need, you should contact your trusted family law attorney.

Impact on Child Support

In Illinois, child support is calculated based on several factors. This includes each parent’s income, the number of children, and the amount of parenting time each parent has. When parents share custody in a co-parenting arrangement, child support is typically calculated differently than in cases where one parent has primary custody.

Under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, when parents share custody, child support is calculated based on the “income shares” model. The amount of child support is calculated by determining the total cost of raising the child, and then dividing that cost between the parents based on their incomes. The amended income shares child support guidelines model became effective on January 1, 2019, signed into law as Public Act 100-0923 on August 17, 2018.

It’s important to note that in Illinois, child support obligations are not just financial. Parents who share custody in a co-parenting arrangement are also responsible for making sure their children’s emotional and physical needs are met. This includes the following:

  • Providing a stable and supportive home environment
  • Making decisions about education and healthcare
  • Facilitating communication between the child and both parents.

Co-parenting can be a rewarding and fulfilling way to raise children after a separation or divorce. However, it’s important for parents to work together to ensure that their children’s needs are being met, both financially and emotionally. If you feel your current situation and contract is unjust or incorrect, contact your family law attorney to discuss whether you are eligible for a modification of the order.

Modification of Child Support

In some cases, a parent may experience substantial changes to their financial situation that makes it challenging (or impossible) for them to pay the court-ordered amount of child support. In such cases, the parent can request a modification of the child support order.

To modify a child support obligation in Illinois, you must file a petition with the court that has jurisdiction over your case. The petition should explain the basis for the requested modification and the change in child support obligation you are seeking from the court.

Since the petition is for modifying an existing order, there is no need to have it served by a sheriff. Instead, you can serve notice of the petition through mail at the responding party’s last known address. Note that if the petition seeks additional court action besides the modification of child support, such as a change in parental time and responsibility, it must be served through certified mail at least 30 days prior to the hearing date.

It’s essential to remember that you cannot modify child support through self-help in Illinois. Even if the other party fails to comply with visitation rights, you cannot suspend child support payments without obtaining a court order.

If you find yourself in a situation where you need to modify a child support order, it’s always best to consult with a family lawyer.

How We Can Help

The options that come with parenting children after divorce or separation have drastically changed in recent decades. While it can be a blessing to many families who have separated on civil terms, it can be hard to navigate when animosity is present.

At Masters Law Group, we understand the laws and the court process inside and out, giving us the necessary knowledge and experience to ensure that your child is properly provided for.

For experienced legal help with your child support orders, parenting time, and more, contact us today to set up a complimentary consultation.