Tag Archive for: DuPage County

Navigating Divorce on Mother’s Day

As Mother’s Day approaches, moms going through a divorce may be experiencing sadness, loneliness, and guilt. However, the most important thing to remember is that it can also be painful for your children, but it doesn’t have to be. How can you move past these negative feelings and enjoy the celebration that you deserve? Plan new traditions!

Mother’s Day is a special occasion dedicated to honoring the mother figures in our lives for their love and selfless sacrifices. However, for mothers going through divorce, finding a balance through this transitional period can feel like an overwhelming and emotional challenge.

Approximately 50% of all children in the United States will witness the end of their parents’ marriage, underscoring the significant impact divorce can have on families. While divorce and separation have become more common over time, it also provides hope that affected individuals still thrive despite its challenges.

In this blog, we’ll explore strategies for navigating Mother’s Day, with tips for supporting your children, maintaining focus on what you can control, and how a family law attorney can help. Here’s what you need to know.

Understanding Children’s Emotions in Divorce

Divorce can be particularly challenging for children, and occasions like Mother’s Day may exacerbate many different emotions. Providing emotional support and creating a safe environment for your children to express themselves is crucial as a divorced parent. It’s important to recognize the signs of reactions exhibited by children, including:

  • Feelings of sadness and loss: Children may experience a sense of grief and mourn the loss of the intact family they once knew.
  • Anger and resentment: Children may express their frustration and anger over the divorce, often directed towards one or both parents.
  • Anxiety and insecurity: The stability and routine they once relied upon may be disrupted, leading to feelings of uncertainty and anxiety about their future. They may worry about their living arrangements, school changes, and how their relationships with their parents will be affected.
  • Academic and behavioral challenges: Divorce can impact a child’s educational performance and behavior. They may struggle to concentrate, exhibit aggression, withdraw, or act out to cope with their emotions.

Understanding the effects of divorce on children is crucial to providing them with the necessary support during this challenging time. Let’s look at how parental responsibilities and parenting time can be beneficial during this difficult transitional period.

Parental Responsibilities Tips for Mother’s Day

Parental responsibilities include two main items: parenting time (formerly “visitation”) and the power to make decisions for children. Parenting time is a schedule that shows when each parent spends time with the children. This schedule is created and approved by a judge in family court. If the parents can’t agree on the schedule, the judge will decide what’s best for the child and assign a schedule for the parents.

Parental responsibilities also refer to the decision-making obligations each parent will have on behalf of the child. Parents can agree to make these decisions together or divide them into categories, which should cover the following:

  • Education
  • Health
  • Religion
  • Extracurricular Activities

If the parents can’t agree on who gets what responsibility, the Illinois family court judge will allocate those responsibilities among them. Let’s dive into some tips to help you make co-parenting easier this Mother’s Day.

Review and Update Your Parenting Plan

One of the first steps in navigating Mother’s Day after a divorce is establishing clear guidelines for parental responsibilities. Crafting a parenting plan that addresses special occasions like Mother’s Day requires a well-thought-out agenda that can help alleviate confusion and minimize conflict. When creating a parenting plan for Mother’s Day, consider the following:

  • Alternating Years: Decide whether Mother’s Day will be alternated between parents each year or if there will be separate celebrations with each parent.
  • Flexibility: Be open to flexibility and compromise. Sometimes, unexpected circumstances may arise, and being willing to adjust plans accordingly can help benefit everyone involved.
  • Respect Boundaries: Respect each other’s boundaries and wishes regarding Mother’s Day celebrations. If one parent prefers to spend the day alone with the children, honor that request and find alternative ways to celebrate.

Try to maintain a united front regarding co-parenting decisions. Keeping children out of adult conflicts can help reassure them of your love and support.

Keep an Open Line of Communication

Effective communication with your co-parent can be key to successfully navigating Mother’s Day. While emotions may run high, maintaining a respectful and cooperative co-parenting relationship is essential for the well-being of your children. This partnership can help reassure children that special events can still be celebrated despite changes in the family dynamic.

Discuss plans for Mother’s Day to avoid last-minute conflicts or misunderstandings. Clearly outline expectations and responsibilities to help ensure a smooth celebration. Be willing to compromise and accommodate each other’s schedules and preferences. Remember that the focus should be on what’s best for the children, even if it means adjusting plans. 

Ways to Build New Family Traditions after Divorce

We’ve compiled a list of three, great ideas for newly divorced couples with families to create new traditions in the next chapter of their lives and the lives of their kids.

  • Plan Your Getaway: Starting a yearly vacation tradition with your family can be incredibly rewarding. You might opt to revisit a beloved destination annually, or perhaps you’ll gather everyone’s input to decide on a new adventure each year. This special time away gives everyone something to eagerly anticipate and offers a valuable opportunity to reconnect amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life.
  • Acknowledging Change: It’s unrealistic to expect life to remain unchanged post-divorce. Significant adjustments lie ahead, and it’s essential for everyone involved to recognize and accept this reality. However, this transition also presents an opportunity to establish new plans and traditions for the future. Clear communication about custody arrangements and upcoming events helps set expectations and fosters a sense of stability for all.
  • Embrace Flexibility: Flexibility can be a cornerstone of amicable divorces, though it can be challenging when tensions run high. Yet, being open to compromise can benefit everyone involved. For instance, offering to adjust your schedule to accommodate your ex-spouse’s plans for a special event demonstrates goodwill and may pave the way for reciprocal flexibility down the line.

Focus on What You Can Control This Mother’s Day

Finally, in navigating Mother’s Day after a divorce, it’s important to focus on what you can control and let go of what you cannot. While you may not be able to control your ex-partner’s actions or attitudes, you can control your response and behavior. Here’s how to focus on what you can control:

  • Practice Self-Care: Take care of yourself emotionally and physically before Mother’s Day. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether spending time with friends, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing a hobby.
  • Stay Present: Instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, focus on being present and enjoying your time with your children.
  • Seek Support: If you feel overwhelmed or emotional, lean on friends or family. Surround yourself with positive influences who can offer encouragement and perspective.

A family law attorney can offer guidance and legal advice to help you develop a plan that provides clarity and structure throughout the planning process. With a clear plan, you can aim for special celebrations filled with warmth and understanding.

How Masters Law Group Can Help

Navigating Mother’s Day after a divorce requires patience and a willingness to prioritize the well-being of your children above all else. At Masters Law Group, our family law attorneys focus on helping clients assert their rights to further the best interests of their children.

As a mom herself, Partner Erin E. Masters can empathize the pain moms must go through when navigating divorce proceedings, especially over Mother’s Day. To help mother’s across Illinois, Erin is also a court-appointed Child Representative with experience advocating for children in these high-conflict matters. Furthermore, Partner Anthony G. Joseph is an approved Guardian Ad Litem/Child Representatives list for the Domestic Relations Division of the Circuit Court of Cook County.

With a strong focus on assisting clients in Chicago and Chicago’s Western Suburbs (Elmhurst, Hinsdale, DuPage, Oakbrook), we offer various services to help parents, children, and families through difficult times like divorce and allocation of parental responsibilities. If you face challenges navigating Mother’s Day after or during divorce and want to know your rights, don’t hesitate to reach out. Set up a complimentary consultation today.

Divorce In The Forces: PTSD

As we observe Military Appreciation Month this May, it’s essential to acknowledge the challenges faced by military families, particularly when it comes to issues like mental health problems and navigating divorce.

While at its core, military divorce shares common legal aspects with civilian divorces, complexities arise with military pensions, child custody arrangements, and other family law matters, often causing tensions between the separating spouses. Moreover, when mental health challenges such as depression and PTSD, prevalent among military personnel, are factored in, navigating this emotionally fraught journey becomes even more delicate and intricate.

Mental Health in The Military

The lifestyle of military families and the multiple stressors that military partners face can lead to anxiety as well as major depressive disorder. It is important to be aware of such where there’s anxiety; you may also find major depressive disorder.

According to the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs, 7 out of every 100 Veterans (or 7%) will have PTSD. In the general population, 6 out of every 100 adults (or 6%) will have PTSD in their lifetime. PTSD is also more common among female Veterans (13 out of 100, or 13%) versus male Veterans (6 out of 100, or 6%). We are learning more about transgender Veterans and those who do not identify as male or female (non-binary). PTSD can affect how couples get along with each other. It can also directly affect the mental health of partners.

A subsequent study by Combat Stress asked veterans’ partners about their experiences of living with someone with PTSD. The results showed that partners face challenges, including inequality in their relationship, loss of their own identity, living in a volatile environment, and emotional distress and isolation.

Understanding Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Divorce

PTSD is a mental health condition that can arise following exposure to or witnessing a traumatic event. The impact of PTSD can reverberate throughout every facet of a relationship, manifesting in communication breakdowns and even violent outbursts. Common symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, and uncontrollable thoughts about an event. 

According to the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Study (NVVRS), Veterans with PTSD exhibit a higher likelihood of experiencing marital difficulties. The study revealed that Veterans with PTSD:

  • Are twice as likely to undergo divorce.
  • Are three times more prone to multiple divorces.
  • Tend to have shorter-lasting relationships.

It’s crucial to understand that these symptoms stem not from choice or weakness but from profound psychological trauma. If you are a spouse navigating a partner’s PTSD, patience, compassion, and education are paramount. Let’s explore some tips for navigating PTSD and divorce.

If you need support, you can:

Navigating PTSD & Divorce

Navigating divorce with a military spouse requires a delicate balance of empathy, understanding, and practical support. Understanding what your spouse is going through can help you respond with compassion. While being supportive is important, setting boundaries to protect your well-being is also essential. Make it clear what behavior is acceptable and what is not, and be prepared to enforce those boundaries if necessary.

While these strategies can help manage the challenges of divorce with a spouse with PTSD and other mental health issues, there may come a point where professional help is necessary. Here are some signs that it may be time to seek professional help:

  • Escalating Conflict: If conflicts with your spouse are becoming more frequent or intense, and attempts to resolve them have been unsuccessful, it may be time to involve a professional mediator or divorce attorney.
  • Safety Concerns: If you or your children feel unsafe or threatened by your spouse’s behavior, it’s essential to take steps to protect yourselves, which may include seeking a protective order or filing for divorce.
  • Lack of Progress: If your spouse is unwilling or unable to seek treatment for their PTSD, or if their symptoms are not improving despite treatment, it may be time to involve a mediator or divorce attorney.

Recognizing the right time to seek assistance from a divorce attorney is essential. It’s crucial to work with a divorce attorney who has experience in handling cases involving military families and comprehends the intricacies of PTSD.

What You’ll Need To File A Divorce

If you’re a military family, there are some limitations on what you can do regarding filing for divorce. When couples find themselves struggling to resolve conflict, and divorce seems like more and more of a reality, many parents question whether or not they should stay or pursue separation. Often, the best way to approach possible psychological issues in a military divorce is the same way they should be approached in every divorce, albeit with some unique additions.

The Federal Service Members Civil Relief Act of 2003 requires a person seeking a divorce to state their spouse is not a member of the U.S. armed forces. This rule prevents spouses from divorcing military members who could not attend divorce proceedings.

If your spouse is a member of the military, you can pursue a divorce as long as they consent. However, they have to sign a defendant’s affidavit of consent. Even though there are a few added rules regarding the military divorce process, the remaining process is similar to civilian divorce. You will still need to agree on the following:

In many cases, you can file for a no-fault divorce (Illinois is a No-Fault Divorce State) if you and your spouse agree on the terms of your divorce. If not, however, an experienced divorce lawyer can help mediate your dispute and draft a settlement agreement. 

How a Divorce Attorney Can Help

We understand that military life can be difficult for families, especially when divorce is involved. At Masters Law Group, we consider all aspects of military life when working with our clients during their divorces. Here are some areas where we can help guide you:

  • Parenting Plans: If you have children, it’s essential to work closely with your attorney to determine the most suitable arrangements for allocating parental responsibilities and visitation. We aim to help create arrangements that prioritize your children’s well-being and best interests.
  • Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution: We encourage exploring options like mediation and collaborative divorce, which can facilitate mutually beneficial agreements outside the courtroom. Our family law attorneys will skillfully guide you through these processes, representing your interests and helping you secure a smoother negotiation experience.
  • Post-Divorce Modifications: Life can bring unexpected changes even after the divorce is finalized. Circumstances may arise that require modifications to parental responsibilities, visitation, or support arrangements. Our attorneys are here to assist you in addressing these changes promptly and effectively, helping protect your rights and the interests of your children.

Working with a divorce attorney can help you confidently navigate the complexities of divorce and help reduce stress. Your rights and the well-being of your family are our top priorities.

Final Thoughts

PTSD, depression, and divorce can be a match made in hell. If you are seeking divorce in the military, you don’t have to go it alone. At Masters Law Group, we move through settlement negotiations, mediation, or litigation with our clients’ assurance and well-being in mind.

Whether you are facing a contested divorce, uncontested divorce, or civil union divorce in the forces this Military Appreciation Month, our firm’s attorneys are ready to skillfully advocate for your position and provide your voice when you need it most.

Contact us today to set up your complimentary consultation.

Divorce and Sexual Assault

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, shedding light on a sensitive topic often surrounded by silence and stigma. Within the broader context of family law, divorce can intersect with issues of family violence and sexual assault, requiring delicate legal handling. 

Nationwide, 81% of women and 43% of men reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment and assault in their lifetime. The effects of sexual assault and harassment can cause physical harm and emotional wounds that are endured for years.

In such instances, seeking assistance from a family law attorney can prove crucial for navigating the complexities of divorce and obtaining necessary protection orders. In today’s blog, we will explore the significance of legal support in these situations and how it can empower individuals to protect themselves and their families. Here’s what you need to know.

THE ROLE OF SEXUAL ASSAULT AWARENESS MONTH

Sexual Assault Awareness Month serves the critical purposes of shedding light on the severity of domestic violence, debunking myths, and dispelling stereotypes. Through education about the signs and impacts of abuse, individuals gain the tools to recognize and address it effectively. This month reinforces the message that survivors have support and resources.

Moreover, Sexual Assault Awareness Month underscores the importance of prevention through community engagement and educational initiatives. It encourages discussions about healthy relationships, consent, and bystander intervention. Let’s learn more about domestic violence and how it can be prevented.

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Domestic violence/domestic abuse is typically manifested as a pattern of abusive behavior toward an intimate partner in a dating or family relationship, where the abuser exerts power and control over the victim. Domestic abuse can be mental, physical, economic or sexual in nature.

Regrettably, domestic violence transcends boundaries and can affect individuals of any gender, race, or socioeconomic status. Its wide-ranging repercussions impact not only the immediate victims but also the children who witness such abuse.

The Illinois Domestic Violence Act (IDVA) identifies several forms of abuse, including:

  1. Physical abuse (including sexual abuse)
  2. Harassment
  3. Intimidation of a dependent
  4. Interference with personal liberty
  5. Willful deprivation
  6. Exploitation
  7. Stalking

The warning signs of abuse may not manifest immediately and can evolve as the relationship progresses. However, it’s important to recognize that each relationship is unique, and domestic violence can manifest in various forms. One common trait among abusive relationships is the abuser’s attempt to establish power and control through various methods at different stages. Fortunately, there are strategies available to help protect you from this abuse.

ORDERS OF PROTECTION: A VITAL LIFELINE

Divorce proceedings can intensify tensions within a relationship, potentially worsening existing instances of family violence or leading to new forms of abuse. Additionally, survivors may disclose incidents of sexual assault during this tumultuous period. It’s crucial to recognize that survivors of sexual assault may face heightened vulnerability during divorce proceedings, often encountering threats, coercion, or manipulation from their abuser.

Fortunately, Orders of Protection (restraining orders) serve as a legal mechanism to shield survivors of family violence and sexual assault from further harm. These court orders can establish boundaries, prohibit contact, and provide security for individuals and their children. Survivors need to know that they do not have to face this process alone. Getting an order of protection requires a comprehensive understanding of legal procedures, evidence requirements, and advocacy skills.

A family law attorney can help provide legal resources and support services to assist in navigating an order of protection. By seeking the assistance of a compassionate and dedicated legal team, survivors can take crucial steps towards reclaiming their autonomy and finding security and peace of mind.

IF CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED

Unlike allegations of domestic violence, accusations of sexual abuse, particularly child molestation, are typically not made lightly. Such accusations are infrequent and receive intense scrutiny. The courts typically respond by appointing a Guardian ad Litem to investigate, with an expectation that the accusing parent has made every effort to investigate, document, and halt the sexual misconduct as soon as suspicion arose.

If accusations of sexual abuse, especially concerning children, arise within your marriage, immediate arrangements for a medical examination of the victim or alleged victim, even if that victim is yourself, are imperative. Subsequently, contacting an attorney should be a priority. Taking swift action can be pivotal in establishing the truth in court.

THE ROLE OF A FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY

In the face of such challenges, the guidance of a knowledgeable family law attorney can be valuable. Family law attorneys have experience in navigating the complexities of divorce cases involving family violence and sexual assault. At Masters Law Group, we aim to protect you and your children’s best interests. Here are some of the areas that we can help you navigate: 

  • Parenting Time: If you have children, work closely with your attorney to determine the best parenting time plan. This helps to ensure that the agreed-upon arrangements prioritize your children’s well-being and best interests.
  • Mediation: Explore options such as mediation or collaborative divorce to help you and your ex-spouse reach mutually beneficial agreements outside of court. Your family law attorney can help guide you through these processes and represent your best interests during negotiations.
  • Post-divorce disputes: After the divorce is finalized, circumstances may require modifications to allocating parental responsibilities, visitation, or support arrangements. Stay in touch with your attorney to address any changes or issues that may arise in the future.
  • Orders of Protection: In cases where an order of protection is granted, attorneys monitor compliance and take swift action against any violations. This proactive approach reinforces the efficacy of legal measures and prioritizes the safety of survivors and their families.

In addition to representing clients, Senior Partner Erin E. Masters is also a court-appointed Child Representative and has experience advocating for children in these high-conflict matters.  Furthermore, Senior Partner Anthony G. Joseph is also on the list of approved Guardian Ad Litem/Child Representatives for the Domestic Relations Division of the Circuit Court of Cook County.

Remember, during this challenging period, Masters Law Group is here to support you and your legal rights. Working with our trusted attorneys can help alleviate the stress associated with domestic disputes, helping ensure a smoother transition for both you and your children.

COMMUNITY RESOURCES

In Chicago, there is a wide range of community resources available to support survivors of sexual assault. The Domestic Violence Legal Clinic provides legal assistance and advocacy services, helping ensure survivors can access legal remedies. The Chicago Metropolitan Battered Women’s Network serves as a comprehensive resource hub, connecting survivors to various shelters, counseling, and legal aid services throughout the city.

Hospitals like the YWCA Metropolitan Chicago also provide comprehensive medical care and forensic exams for survivors seeking immediate assistance. These community resources play a vital role in supporting survivors to help them heal and seek justice in the aftermath of sexual assault.

LAST THOUGHTS

As we observe Sexual Assault Awareness Month, it’s crucial to recognize the intersection of divorce, family violence, and sexual abuse. Shedding light on these issues can empower survivors to take proactive steps toward safety and justice. 

At Masters Law Group, our skilled family law attorneys are here to help navigate the complexities of divorce while prioritizing the well-being of survivors and their families. Let us strive to create a society where survivors are heard, supported, and empowered,

Contact us here today.

DuPage Divorce Mediation

The emotional turbulence of divorce and navigating the legal intricacies can seem daunting and overwhelming. However, in DuPage County, Illinois, there’s a pathway that offers a more amicable and efficient resolution: divorce mediation.

With the United States ranking third globally in divorce rates, at 2.4 divorces per 1,000 people, the need for effective resolution methods is more pressing than ever. In this blog, we’ll explore mediation and how a DuPage divorce lawyer can help you with the process. Here’s what to expect when pursuing this alternative method of resolution.

What Is Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) that involves a neutral third party who facilitates communication between the parties to help them reach a mutually beneficial solution. Unlike a judge, the mediator does not make decisions for the parties; instead, they help them reach their agreement.

Mediation typically begins with both parties meeting with their mediator to discuss the issues at hand. The mediator then facilitates communication between the parties, helping them identify and address their concerns. Once an agreement is reached, the mediator drafts a written contract that both parties can sign.

In some cases, mediation may not be successful; especially surrounding domestic violence or substance abuse.  For those who have a more “black and white” separation vision, mediation helps the parties better understand each other’s positions and concerns, making future negotiations more straightforward. 

When Can You Use Mediation in DuPage?

In DuPage County, mediation can be used at any stage of the divorce process, whether before filing for divorce or during litigation. It’s particularly encouraged when couples wish to maintain a cooperative relationship and have more control over the outcome of their divorce.

Mediation offers a more private, confidential, and intimate setting, which can help to alleviate some of the stress associated with divorce. Parties can work together to resolve their issues in a safe environment without the added pressure of a courtroom setting. These agreements are typically confidential, meaning the dispute and resolution details are kept private. It can help protect the parties’ privacy and avoid potential negative publicity from a public trial.

How Does Divorce Mediation Work?

Before diving into mediation, some groundwork is necessary. Start by gathering all pertinent information and documents related to the disputes in your divorce. For instance, if there’s contention over whether certain assets are marital or separate property, assemble the relevant financial records. 

Certain mediators may request this information as part of the initial intake process. Here’s how the process typically unfolds:

  • Choosing a Mediator: Couples typically select a mediator together, helping ensure they feel comfortable with the individual facilitating their discussions.
  • Initial Meeting: The mediator meets with both spouses to discuss the process, set ground rules, and identify the issues that must be resolved.
  • Negotiation Sessions: Over several sessions, the spouses, along with their attorneys if they choose to have legal representation, engage in discussions facilitated by the mediator. The goal is to reach mutually agreeable solutions on all aspects of the divorce.
  • Drafting the Agreement: Once agreements are reached, the mediator assists in drafting a legally binding agreement that reflects the decisions made by the couple.

What If You Don’t Reach an Agreement in Mediation?

While mediation aims to find common ground and reach agreements on all issues, it’s not uncommon for certain matters to remain unresolved. In such cases, couples have several options:

  • Continue Mediation: If only a few sticking points prevent a full agreement, couples can choose to continue mediation sessions to work through these remaining issues.
  • Seek Alternative Dispute Resolution: If mediation proves unsuccessful, couples may explore forms of alternative dispute resolution, such as arbitration or collaborative law. These methods offer different approaches to resolving conflicts outside of traditional litigation.
  • Litigation: Couples may resort to litigation for those specific matters when mediation fails to produce a comprehensive agreement. This involves presenting unresolved issues to a judge, who will then make decisions on behalf of the couple.

It’s worth noting that even partial agreements reached through mediation can still offer benefits. Resolving some issues through mediation can help streamline the litigation process, reducing the time and costs associated with court proceedings. Working with a DuPage divorce attorney can help you find the right solution based on your needs and goals.

Finalizing a Mediated Dissolution In DuPage County

Once the mediated agreement is drafted, it must be reviewed and approved by each spouse’s respective attorney before being submitted to the court for final approval. Upon approval, the mediated agreement becomes a court order, legally binding to both parties. 

Having a trustworthy divorce attorney by your side can help ensure a smooth transition. Our team of experienced divorce mediation attorneys is fully prepared to advocate for you and your family.

Erin E. Masters and Anthony G. Joseph have consistently earned recognition from esteemed publications year after year (including Best Lawyers, Best Law Firm, Top 100 Lawyers, and Leading Lawyers), a testament to their unwavering work ethic, strong character, and experience in family law. Our track record of success reassures you that you have a reliable and dependable ally throughout your divorce mediation proceedings.

Working with a DuPage Divorce Lawyer

While mediation is designed to be a collaborative process, having a DuPage mediator by your side can help provide valuable support and guidance. At Masters Law Group, serving clients in Cook County and DuPage County, Illinois, our experienced attorneys understand that divorce is stressful for everyone involved. 

We prioritize our clients’ assurance and well-being throughout the mediation process. Whether you are facing mediation, a contested, uncontested, or a civil union divorce, our attorneys are ready to skillfully advocate for your position and provide your voice when you need it most.

Contact us here today to schedule a consultation.