Tag Archive for: Holidays parenting plan

Navigating Divorce on Mother’s Day

As Mother’s Day approaches, moms going through a divorce may be experiencing sadness, loneliness, and guilt. However, the most important thing to remember is that it can also be painful for your children, but it doesn’t have to be. How can you move past these negative feelings and enjoy the celebration that you deserve? Plan new traditions!

Mother’s Day is a special occasion dedicated to honoring the mother figures in our lives for their love and selfless sacrifices. However, for mothers going through divorce, finding a balance through this transitional period can feel like an overwhelming and emotional challenge.

Approximately 50% of all children in the United States will witness the end of their parents’ marriage, underscoring the significant impact divorce can have on families. While divorce and separation have become more common over time, it also provides hope that affected individuals still thrive despite its challenges.

In this blog, we’ll explore strategies for navigating Mother’s Day, with tips for supporting your children, maintaining focus on what you can control, and how a family law attorney can help. Here’s what you need to know.

Understanding Children’s Emotions in Divorce

Divorce can be particularly challenging for children, and occasions like Mother’s Day may exacerbate many different emotions. Providing emotional support and creating a safe environment for your children to express themselves is crucial as a divorced parent. It’s important to recognize the signs of reactions exhibited by children, including:

  • Feelings of sadness and loss: Children may experience a sense of grief and mourn the loss of the intact family they once knew.
  • Anger and resentment: Children may express their frustration and anger over the divorce, often directed towards one or both parents.
  • Anxiety and insecurity: The stability and routine they once relied upon may be disrupted, leading to feelings of uncertainty and anxiety about their future. They may worry about their living arrangements, school changes, and how their relationships with their parents will be affected.
  • Academic and behavioral challenges: Divorce can impact a child’s educational performance and behavior. They may struggle to concentrate, exhibit aggression, withdraw, or act out to cope with their emotions.

Understanding the effects of divorce on children is crucial to providing them with the necessary support during this challenging time. Let’s look at how parental responsibilities and parenting time can be beneficial during this difficult transitional period.

Parental Responsibilities Tips for Mother’s Day

Parental responsibilities include two main items: parenting time (formerly “visitation”) and the power to make decisions for children. Parenting time is a schedule that shows when each parent spends time with the children. This schedule is created and approved by a judge in family court. If the parents can’t agree on the schedule, the judge will decide what’s best for the child and assign a schedule for the parents.

Parental responsibilities also refer to the decision-making obligations each parent will have on behalf of the child. Parents can agree to make these decisions together or divide them into categories, which should cover the following:

  • Education
  • Health
  • Religion
  • Extracurricular Activities

If the parents can’t agree on who gets what responsibility, the Illinois family court judge will allocate those responsibilities among them. Let’s dive into some tips to help you make co-parenting easier this Mother’s Day.

Review and Update Your Parenting Plan

One of the first steps in navigating Mother’s Day after a divorce is establishing clear guidelines for parental responsibilities. Crafting a parenting plan that addresses special occasions like Mother’s Day requires a well-thought-out agenda that can help alleviate confusion and minimize conflict. When creating a parenting plan for Mother’s Day, consider the following:

  • Alternating Years: Decide whether Mother’s Day will be alternated between parents each year or if there will be separate celebrations with each parent.
  • Flexibility: Be open to flexibility and compromise. Sometimes, unexpected circumstances may arise, and being willing to adjust plans accordingly can help benefit everyone involved.
  • Respect Boundaries: Respect each other’s boundaries and wishes regarding Mother’s Day celebrations. If one parent prefers to spend the day alone with the children, honor that request and find alternative ways to celebrate.

Try to maintain a united front regarding co-parenting decisions. Keeping children out of adult conflicts can help reassure them of your love and support.

Keep an Open Line of Communication

Effective communication with your co-parent can be key to successfully navigating Mother’s Day. While emotions may run high, maintaining a respectful and cooperative co-parenting relationship is essential for the well-being of your children. This partnership can help reassure children that special events can still be celebrated despite changes in the family dynamic.

Discuss plans for Mother’s Day to avoid last-minute conflicts or misunderstandings. Clearly outline expectations and responsibilities to help ensure a smooth celebration. Be willing to compromise and accommodate each other’s schedules and preferences. Remember that the focus should be on what’s best for the children, even if it means adjusting plans. 

Ways to Build New Family Traditions after Divorce

We’ve compiled a list of three, great ideas for newly divorced couples with families to create new traditions in the next chapter of their lives and the lives of their kids.

  • Plan Your Getaway: Starting a yearly vacation tradition with your family can be incredibly rewarding. You might opt to revisit a beloved destination annually, or perhaps you’ll gather everyone’s input to decide on a new adventure each year. This special time away gives everyone something to eagerly anticipate and offers a valuable opportunity to reconnect amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life.
  • Acknowledging Change: It’s unrealistic to expect life to remain unchanged post-divorce. Significant adjustments lie ahead, and it’s essential for everyone involved to recognize and accept this reality. However, this transition also presents an opportunity to establish new plans and traditions for the future. Clear communication about custody arrangements and upcoming events helps set expectations and fosters a sense of stability for all.
  • Embrace Flexibility: Flexibility can be a cornerstone of amicable divorces, though it can be challenging when tensions run high. Yet, being open to compromise can benefit everyone involved. For instance, offering to adjust your schedule to accommodate your ex-spouse’s plans for a special event demonstrates goodwill and may pave the way for reciprocal flexibility down the line.

Focus on What You Can Control This Mother’s Day

Finally, in navigating Mother’s Day after a divorce, it’s important to focus on what you can control and let go of what you cannot. While you may not be able to control your ex-partner’s actions or attitudes, you can control your response and behavior. Here’s how to focus on what you can control:

  • Practice Self-Care: Take care of yourself emotionally and physically before Mother’s Day. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether spending time with friends, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing a hobby.
  • Stay Present: Instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, focus on being present and enjoying your time with your children.
  • Seek Support: If you feel overwhelmed or emotional, lean on friends or family. Surround yourself with positive influences who can offer encouragement and perspective.

A family law attorney can offer guidance and legal advice to help you develop a plan that provides clarity and structure throughout the planning process. With a clear plan, you can aim for special celebrations filled with warmth and understanding.

How Masters Law Group Can Help

Navigating Mother’s Day after a divorce requires patience and a willingness to prioritize the well-being of your children above all else. At Masters Law Group, our family law attorneys focus on helping clients assert their rights to further the best interests of their children.

As a mom herself, Partner Erin E. Masters can empathize the pain moms must go through when navigating divorce proceedings, especially over Mother’s Day. To help mother’s across Illinois, Erin is also a court-appointed Child Representative with experience advocating for children in these high-conflict matters. Furthermore, Partner Anthony G. Joseph is an approved Guardian Ad Litem/Child Representatives list for the Domestic Relations Division of the Circuit Court of Cook County.

With a strong focus on assisting clients in Chicago and Chicago’s Western Suburbs (Elmhurst, Hinsdale, DuPage, Oakbrook), we offer various services to help parents, children, and families through difficult times like divorce and allocation of parental responsibilities. If you face challenges navigating Mother’s Day after or during divorce and want to know your rights, don’t hesitate to reach out. Set up a complimentary consultation today.

Navigating the Holiday Season During Divorce: A Co-Parenting Guide

When we think of the holidays, we think of happiness and being surrounded by our loved ones. However, it can present a unique set of challenges for divorced – or divorcing – parents.

Whether this is your first holiday season post-divorce, amid a divorce, or you’re a seasoned co-parent, effective preparation and clear communication are crucial for a fulfilling holiday experience for your children.

Given that a divorce occurs approximately every 36 seconds somewhere in the United States, the importance of finding peaceful ways to co-parent cannot be more important. In this blog, we aim to provide practical tips and insights to help provide a peaceful holiday for you and your children. Here’s what you need to know.

Understanding Parental Responsibilities

It’s important to know that “custody” is no longer used. It is now called “parental responsibilities.” This includes two main things: parenting time (formerly “visitation”) and the power to make decisions for children. Parenting time is a schedule that shows when each parent spends time with the children. This schedule is created and approved by a judge in family court. If the parents can’t agree on the schedule, the judge will decide what’s best for the child and assign a schedule for the parents.

Parental responsibilities refer to the decision-making responsibilities that each parent will have on behalf of the child. Parents can agree to make these decisions together or divide them into categories, which should cover the following:

  • Education
  • Health
  • Religion
  • Extracurricular Activities

If the parents can’t agree on who gets what responsibility, the Illinois family court judge will allocate those responsibilities among them. Let’s dive into some tips that will help you make co-parenting easier this holiday season.

1. Review and Update Your Co-Parenting Plan

During the emotional and often stressful period of divorce, having a clear co-parenting plan can provide stability and predictability for both you and your children. This plan should outline how you and your ex-spouse will share responsibilities and make decisions regarding your children. If you’re unsure about how to create or modify your co-parenting plan, seeking the assistance of a family law attorney can be incredibly valuable.

A family law attorney can offer guidance and legal advice to help you develop a plan that provides clarity and structure throughout the holiday season. With a clear plan, you can aim for holiday celebrations filled with warmth, understanding, and the season’s magic.

2. Prioritize Communication and Planning

Children flourish when they have stability. To create a harmonious holiday season, it’s vital to present a united front and communicate holiday plans clearly and calmly. Share your holiday plans, including travel details, accommodations, and emergency contacts. Stay updated on any changes or delays affecting the agreed schedule. Keeping the lines of communication open promotes transparency. By communicating effectively, co-parents can build trust between one another. This partnership can help reassure children that the holidays can still be joyful and celebratory despite changes in the family dynamic.

3. Be Flexible and Willing to Compromise

The holiday season is often unpredictable, and flexibility can be your greatest asset. While it’s important to stick to your parenting plan as much as possible, be prepared to make minor adjustments as needed. This could mean being flexible with pick-up and drop-off times or accommodating last-minute changes. The goal is to prioritize your children’s happiness and well-being, even if it means making concessions.

4. Establish and Maintain Traditions

Maintaining holiday traditions can provide a sense of continuity and comfort for children post-divorce. Work with your ex-spouse to determine which traditions to maintain and explore opportunities to establish new ones. Involving your children in this decision-making process can enhance their sense of inclusion and security. Here are some creative approaches to traditional celebrations:

  • Go out to eat instead of cooking.
  • Have a holiday picnic in a new part of the house.
  • Eat dinner while watching holiday movies.
  • Buy new holiday decorations.
  • Spend time with extended family.
  • Change your gift-giving routine.

5. Prioritize Your Children’s Needs

Parents, caregivers, and educators play a crucial role in helping children cope emotionally during and after a divorce. Studies show that children often encounter significant difficulties in these times, especially in the first year or two after the divorce. It’s essential to understand that each child is different, and what’s a big deal for one child might not be as important to another.

Pay attention to their feelings and needs, and be supportive if they struggle with the changes. Involve your child in the decision-making process where appropriate, giving them a sense of ownership and excitement about the holidays. Remember, the goal is to create lasting memories and positive experiences for your child. Lastly, try to keep negative feelings about your ex-spouse to yourself and maintain a positive attitude when discussing holiday plans.

How Masters Law Group Can Help

The holidays can be emotionally taxing, especially after a recent divorce or separation, which can intensify these emotions. It’s important to prioritize self-care to be the best parent you can be. Your family’s well-being is paramount, so don’t let the emotional strain of a custody case weigh you down.

At Masters Law Group, our family law attorneys focus on helping clients assert their rights to further the best interests of their children. Attorney Erin E. Masters is a court-appointed Child Representative with experience advocating for children in these high-conflict matters. Attorney Anthony G. Joseph is an approved Guardian Ad Litem/Child Representatives list for the Domestic Relations Division of the Circuit Court of Cook County.

With a strong focus on assisting clients in Chicago and Chicago’s Western Suburbs (Elmhurst, Hinsdale, DuPage, Oakbrook), we offer various services to help parents, children, and families through difficult times like Divorce, Parenting Time, and Allocation of Parental Responsibilities.

If you require legal assistance, contact a member of our legal team today. Our attorneys will work with you to develop an appropriate action plan for your unique needs and goals. We will work diligently on your behalf and provide regular updates.

Contact us today to set up a complimentary consultation.

Top 5 Family Law Issues Over the Holidays

The holidays are often spent with family. For some people, this is an exciting time of the year. For others, it is a source of stress. For divorced couples, how do you share custody during the holidays? Can you change a custody agreement in Illinois? What about grandparent visitation rights? Read on to learn more about the most common family law issues during the holidays and some potential solutions.

The holidays can be a difficult time for a lot of people. Some grapple with the loss of a loved one over holidays. Some couples put off their divorces until after the holiday season. Some people struggle to spend a lot of time with their families.

While the holidays can be a wonderful time, they can also come with a lot of tension. If you are struggling during the holiday season, you are not alone. Here are the top 5 family law issues that occur during the holidays.

  1. Couples Putting off Divorce

Going through a divorce can be a stressful experience in someone’s life. Unfortunately, it’s common for couples who wish to get a divorce to hold off until after the holidays. They tend to do so for the sake of the kids and other family members, but it can be hard to keep a brave face with an impending divorce looming as soon as the holiday magic is gone. It is important to know that this is something many couples struggle with.

  1. Rushed Proposals

Proposals are a common occurrence during the holiday season. In fact, Christmas Day is the most popular day to propose. Because of the excitement of the holidays, many people rush into proposals without considering all the legal issues to take into account. For example, do you know if you want your partner to sign a prenuptial agreement?

Legally, an engagement ring is considered a “conditional gift” based on the marriage taking place and the ring goes back to the purchaser if the engagement is broken, regardless of who ends it. But rings given on Christmas, Valentine’s Day or birthdays are typically classified as more traditional gifts, and the majority of courts have allowed the receiver to keep them. 

  1. Making a Holiday Parenting Plan/Schedule

When it comes down to it, the most difficult aspect of child custody during the holidays is figuring out who will be where and when. The next hardest component is making that schedule happen. Be realistic with the holiday itinerary and consider input from the children, if possible. Be proactive and create a Holiday Parenting Plan. Here are some considerations:

  1. Identify the specific holidays that are important to you and your family.
  2. Be specific about the times that define the holiday.
  3. Consider whether or not the holiday may or will involve travel. It is important to build this into your holiday plan even if you do not plan to travel every year.
  4. Consider whether or not the holiday can be incorporated into the regular parenting time plan.
  5. Consider whether or not it is possible to have the holiday included. For example, some holidays are during the school day (Halloween) and if you decide you want to split the holiday, how will that happen once the children are in school? Dividing this time means that one parent is transporting the children during prime trick or treating time. Is this really what you want for your children?

4. Changes to custody agreements

Often, divorced couples with children wish to change their custody agreements as the holidays roll around. When seeking a modification, a motion to modify custody must be filed. The motion must be filed in the county where the original custody order was signed. If the child no longer lives in that county, it may be possible to have the case transferred. This can be difficult to do at the last minute, so you should contact our firm to discuss your options. If you are facing an issue where your child has been taken overseas by the other parent, you could be entitled to file legal action under the Hague Convention for international parental child abduction. 

  1. Questions about visitation

Many families have questions about custody and visitation rights. What rights do grandparents have to see their grandkids over the holidays? Unfortunately for the state of Illinois, it does not provide for any visitation to grandparents or other non-parents by default. Unless it’s proven to harm the child, parents are given the discretion to choose who their child has a relationship with or not. 

In the event a grandparent is trying to petition for visitation rights, they must show that a relationship existed with the children before a divorce. In other words, a court may help restore an existing relationship but will not help build a new one.

Final Thoughts

Holiday parenting time issues are extremely common.  They often create strong emotional responses from each parent because not only is it their parenting time, but also it frequently includes extended family members visiting or who have traveled to see the children. In the event of battling with an ex over visitation schedules, or any other family law issue such as divorce or even post-divorce disputes: Remember, if you’re facing any of these issues you aren’t alone. We’ve seen and heard it all and are here to serve and guide you through this season.

Get in touch with our award-winning Masters Law Group Attorneys today for help figuring out a solution to your problem. 

 

Making a Parenting Plan for Thanksgiving

If this is your first Thanksgiving as a divorced or separated parent, there could be a lot of confusion wondering how to create a fair parenting plan. If the holiday periods haven’t been defined in the custodial arrangements yet, make sure that you are creating a plan that is fair and takes the best interest of the children into consideration.

This year, Thanksgiving falls on Thursday November 26th. A time designed for family gatherings, it’s a tough spot for many recently-divorced or separated parents.

Because Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving weekend are times when both parents want to be with the child or children, you want to make solid arrangements for this holiday in your holiday schedule. The obvious answer is to divide up the holidays, but it’s often hard to imagine how the holidays could be split in a way that feels fair to everyone. Let’s take a look at some of the options for splitting custody for Thanksgiving and other important holidays.

Alternating Holidays

For many parents, it makes sense to take an odd/even approach to the holiday season. For example, one parent could have the child/children for Thanksgiving on odd years, but Christmas for even years. The other parent would have the children for Thanksgiving on odd years and Christmas on even years. This way, each parent has their children for some of the big holidays every year, and they never go more than one year without their child for any given holiday.

Fixed Holidays

An an alternative choice by parents during the holidays is a fixed holiday schedule. This takes a more simple approach of assigning a certain holiday, every year, to a certain parent. While this could cause some form of conflict for those to want to alternate the holidays, it works well for separated couples with different religions. For example, if one parent is Jewish, they will have the child(ren) over Hanukkah, and if the other parent Christian, they will have the child(ren) over the Christmas holidays. However, this does leave holidays like Thanksgiving up for debate where individuals of almost every religion celebrate throughout the United States.

Split Holidays

Split holidays are a great idea if both parents live close together as the child(ren) can spend Thanksgiving (or any holiday) with BOTH parents at different locations. The only thing to decide upon is the time. For example, one parent can have custody the day prior and the first half of Thanksgiving day, then the other parent has custody the second half of the Thanksgiving and the following day. For obvious reasons, if the parents’ homes or holiday celebrations are too far apart, it can get more complicated.

Double Holidays

Finally, some parents may choose to run “double holidays” where they both have a day of celebrations, just on different days. Parents can simply let the custody schedule play out as is, letting whichever parent would normally have the child on the official holiday date celebrate that day, and the other parent can celebrate with the child on their next scheduled visit. Alternatively, parents can designate a date for the second holiday – one parent celebrates Thanksgiving on the 26th and the other celebrates on the 30th. In this scenario, parents could alternate years so that they each get the official holiday every other year.

Final Thoughts

The prospect of formulating a custody calendar is a daunting task for many recently divorced or separated parents.  Working directly with your co-parent to create your joint custody schedule and holiday custody plan is a great way to keep the peace. Your schedule will be unique to your family dynamic and must be sensitive to each of your personal schedules, but most importantly, putting the welfare of the children should always come first and foremost.

Parenting Time Rights with Masters Law Group

From allocation of parental responsibilities to legal separation matters and parenting time rights, Masters Law Group focuses on helping clients assert their rights to further the best interests of their children.

We understand parenting time of your child is a very emotional law topic, especially during the holidays. Masters Law Group represents individuals in both their initial quest to set a parenting time schedule, as well as parents looking to modify a previously determined schedule. Are you facing a family law issue involving the children? Contact us here today to schedule a consultation.